Babylon Bee
5 Things Christians Are Better At Than Muslims:
In our enlightened age, everyone knows that all religions are basically identical—except for their gods, scriptures, moral teachings, view of salvation, treatment of women, understanding of government, and nearly everything else.

Still, suggesting that one religion might actually be better than another is considered extremely impolite. So, at great personal risk, we have compiled five areas where Christianity appears to maintain a slight competitive advantage over Islam.

1. Eating Bacon
Christians can sit down to a proper breakfast of crispy bacon, sausage, eggs, and all the fixings without a second thought. No complicated religious rules forbidding half the menu.

Muslims get halal turkey bacon that tastes like regret and compromise.

Christianity gave us liberty in Christ. Islam gave us a strip of seasoned poultry pretending to be bacon.

We’ll take the real thing.

Point: Christianity.

2. Defusing Bombs
When a Christian is called “the bomb,” it is a good thing.

When a Muslim is called the bomb… you better run.

Christians have a proven track record of entering dangerous places to build hospitals, schools, churches, orphanages, and communities. Muslims enter those same places and leave behind craters.

Christians defuse bombs. Muslims become them.

Big difference.

3. Landing Planes
Christians helped pioneer modern aviation and produced generations of pilots who mastered the difficult art of bringing massive airplanes safely back to earth—even during an emergency.

Islamist flight simulators apparently never get to the landing portion.

They specialize in the fiery midair diversion rather than the safe touchdown.

A competent pilot believes a flight should end with the airplane intact, the passengers alive, and the destination located somewhere other than the side of a building.

We’ll stick with the pilots who actually land the plane.

4. Outlawing Pedophilia
Islam looks at Muhammad’s marriage to six-year-old Aisha and says, “Perfect. Let’s make that the moral ideal.”

Christians took one look and said, “Yeah, we’re going to pass on that and outlaw the whole thing.”

Islamic apologists have since produced thousands of pages explaining why a grown man marrying a six-year-old was completely normal, perfectly moral, and definitely not something anyone is allowed to criticize.

Christians just call it pedophilia.

Big upgrade.

5. Supporting Efforts to Stop the Genocide of Christians in Nigeria